Today is a good day probably because it is Sunday. I heard an amazing sermon today about how God desires nothing less of us than perfection in a world where our society's morals and values have plummeted. We sometimes think as Christians that we just need to be a little better than our neighbors, so we fail to remember that God's goals for our lives stay the same - PERFECT like Jesus. Yes, we make mistakes and fall short of this as humans, but that is also why God sent his son, Jesus, to die for us. We are saved not by what we have done but by his love and mercy that allowed Jesus to make that ultimate sacrifice on the cross. Then, the most miraculous event was the resurrection of Jesus from the tomb. You know we all have our struggles and sins that we have a hard time turning away from, but we have to remember to repent from these sins and truly commit to doing what is good. Otherwise, how can we truly be examples to others of how a Christian should be, and show the world how a life centered around God can be so amazing. We have something so much greater than other religions. We are heirs to the hope of eternal life (from Titus in the Bible). I think of this life as a competition like a basketball game. When we are young we are practicing to earn a spot on the team. Once, we accept God and are babtized, we join his TEAM. He puts us in the game as a starter. We may have bad games and get taken out of the game (like how I feel with this cancer stuff), but when we are on the bench it gives time to refocus on how to get back in the game. We encourage our teammates on and off the floor to become better and play harder. Then, when we finally decide to get back in there and play how we have been taught to play, we truly make a difference and leave the game not having any regrets. We are then victorious through Jesus Christ. Thanks Steve for that message today. I'm always striving to do better and live better, but it is good to be reminded of where exaclty we should set our goals.
This week is going to be pretty busy for me. Tomorrow, I finally get my drains pulled. No, they have not reached their goal of being under 30 mL in a 24 hour period, but I cannot move forward with my port surgery until they get pulled. Dr. Proffer's office decided to put a end date on them and thank goodness that is tomorrow. I will not miss having to deal with those drains while trying to bathe or wearing those wonderful drain bags (which I was very grateful for because they were given to me from a church here in town where the women make them) on my sides. Yes, I was asked numerous times if my pant pockets were sticking out or if that was a catheter bag because people did not know what they were. Once I get those out tomorrow, I will preregister for surgery on Tuesday. Dr. Arredondo will do the port placement surgery at Northwest Texas Hospital on Tuesday around 2:30 pm. Then, unfortunately I will do my first chemo session at Northwest on Wednesday at 3 pm. You know I guess I was upset this past Monday talking about chemo because it is suddenly becoming reality that I'm a cancer patient. Initially in the first month and a half, we talked about cancer stuff a lot and the treatment for it, but I still carried on with my "normal" life. Then, the big surgery came and took me back for a loop because it has taken me a lot longer than I had expected to feel better. Now, starting Wednesday, I will truly feel like I'm a cancer patient with the chemo starting. I guess I have really just dreaded the toxic drugs that will rid my body of the cancer that has crept into my life. I guess it is all for a good cause, so I will just grin and bear it. It still stinks though. I am currently enjoying each and every day that I still have my long brunette hair. You know you always wonder what you will look like without hair. Is my head smooth or do I have some big potholes in it? How white will it be since it hasn't really ever seen the sun fully? Will I look as good as Demi Moore in G.I. Jane? I guess we will see soon. I asked Brenley the other day if she is going to be okay with Mommy not having hair because of her medicine that might cause it to fall out. Bless her heart, she said, "Mommy, it's ok. God will give you some more. We can buy you some and glue it on". I just had to laugh at that point because she was right in many aspects. I can probably get a wig that closely resembles what i have now minus the glue. She says that because she had a doll that her hair would not stay on, so Mommy graciously super glued it to her head. Also, it is just a temporary side effect, so I will eventually grow more hair. Who knows I may be a blonde or even curly headed when it comes back in. I hope not on the blonde thing. No offense to those pretty ladies that are blonde, but I love being a brunette. They say your hair sometimes changes color and texture when it comes back. That could be fun. I will probably have a going away party soon for my hair, but thank goodness my looks don't define who I am as a person. I'm beautiful because I'm God's child and he loves me. I will let ya'll know how it goes from here on out. I pray for little side effects from the chemo and for a good attitude to endure it. Thank you for the continued prayers and thoughts. May God bless each of you and may your hair stay intact! Love always - Shayla