The good is that I have now completed 5 of 12 chemo treatments of this taxol drug.  This week will make number six, and then I'll be halfway there.  Yeah!  I can't wait to be finished with chemo all together.  It looks like the end of the line on the chemo will be around the 2nd week of April.  The other good thing is that this chemo has been quite a bit easier on me than the first drugs I had to take.  I have had little side effects.  This is where I get honest and frank with each of you.  I told myself when I started this blog that I was going to be upfront about every aspect of this journey whether good, bad, or just downright ugly.  The bad side effects that I have had lately is nose bleeds and rectal bleeding.  I think that it is just part of the chemo drying me out, but you never know.  The rectal bleeding began a few weeks ago and was just here and there when I had a bowel movement.  Then, it started happening more often progressing to every time I go to the restroom.  The amount of blood seemed to increase too.  I called my oncologist, Dr. Pruitt, and spoke with his nurse.  I had told him about two weeks ago about it at my follow-up, but he just said that we would get it checked out after chemo was over.  When it got worse, I thought I should let him know.  I didn't think I should wait 7-8 more weeks to get it checked out.  He agreed with me.  They sent me back to my gastroenterologist, Dr. Ellington, to have him check me out.  He said he thinks it is just from the chemo or hemorrhoids, but he told me I needed to have a sigmoidoscopy.  This is basically like a colonoscopy, but they only go part of the way into the colon to check things out.  I had my first colonoscopy last summer because of similar problems and a history of colon cancer in my greatgrandmother at age 34.  So basically, this week I will delay my normal Wednesday chemo until Thursday after the procedure.  The good news is that I don't have to drink the two liters of that nasty "Go lightly" crap.  I remember barely being able to swallow the last of each liter without vomiting last time.  I'm not sure who named that stuff anyway.  Obviously, they never tried the product for themselves before naming it.  There is nothing "lightly" about it.  Well, at least I can laugh about some of these things I'm having to go through because if not I might have to cry at times.  I told a friend yesterday it seems that as soon as I get one thing off my plate, something else gets put on my plate to replace it.  I think to myself, "If I can just get through this chemo, I'll be so glad".  Then, I start thinking, "Well then I'll have to do radiation and then surgeries and then......".  It seems like it will never end, and then will I ever feel normal again even when it is all over?  I have a new normal.  My life will never be the same as it used to be.  I will always be a cancer patient, and I feel that I will always think about my cancer and worry if it will come back.  These thoughts and worries can definitely get the best of me sometimes, but I always have to remind myself that I am not in control.  Thank goodness for that.  I am in good hands with God, the ultimate physician, and he will take care of my every need and worry.  I will continue to trust him and know that hard times produce character and strengthen my dependence on him.  This life is full of hard times that test us, so we have to continue to run the race towards our ultimate goal - heaven.  How glorious that will be when none of us have to suffer or stress about these wordly things!  I can't wait for that day.  Until then, I pray for more strength, faith, and courage to face each day knowing that the fight is worth it and that God is shaping me through this.  What ever glorifies him, I am willing to go through.  Anyway, please pray that the procedure goes well and that this will just be another temporary side effect from this nasty chemo.  Thank you again for your thoughts and prayers.  They mean so much to me.  Love y'all.   Shay
Julie
2/26/2012 23:12:59

Thinking of you this week and always. Just keep your mind in today and take one step at a time. I love and admire your courage!

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Lisa
2/26/2012 23:14:53

You are amazing!!! Love you! Sending prayers up for you every day!!!

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Suz
2/27/2012 00:32:53

Shay--I read something the other day in Jesus Calling: Seeking Peace in His Presence. AWESOME devotioinal. Anyway, it said, " Some of the greatest works in my kingdom have been done from sick beds and prison cells. Instead of resenting the limitations of a weakened body, search for My way in the midst of these very circumstances. Limitations can be liberating when your strongest desire is living close to Me."

I admire the way you have drawn CLOSER to God in this cancer and I know he is using and will use you to comfort those going through similar circumstance, as He says in His word. I am thankful for your courage, your honesty, your faith, and YOU!! Love you friend,
Suz

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Becky Weatherly
2/27/2012 06:56:45

Shayla- Your strong faith is an inspiration to me. I am praying that God is your strength each day! I love you!

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Belinda
2/27/2012 12:47:29

Your an inspiration Shay & I will continue to lift you up in my prayers! Love ya~Be

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Cheryl
2/27/2012 16:33:22

Just one day at a time is all you have to do. We are so human and self-reliant that we need to make plans and try to anticipate the needs of the other days, but God has it covered. Just one day...

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