You know there are moments in life that define you and this was one of them. I am definitely a breast cancer survivor and warrior now. Today I decided that the hair loss was getting worse, and I was ready to just get it over with, so we shaved it off tonight. To my surprise, I had forgotten about a scar at the beginning of my right forehead hairline from running into a cement tunnel in middle school. I can't help it that someone called my name while I was running toward the tunnel to hide during hide and go seek distracting me enough to crack my head back. And yes I continued running on through the tunnel straight to my teacher with a bloody head to tell her I thought I had hurt myself. Funny times. Also, I surprisingly have a very smooth, rounded head. Demi Moore has nothing on me girls. Just kidding. My brave husband, Chris, and my sweet princess, Bren, went with me. I wanted them to be a part of this moment so that we could walk through it together as a family and so Bren wasn't shocked at Mommy's new look. Chris shed a few tears, which made me cry a little. Bren did great. I was nervous cause on the way I talked to her, and she said she was so sad that Mommy's hair would be gone. However, she came right over to me after it was over and hugged my legs and said, "my Mommy". It was so sweet and uplifting. God's hand was definitely in that moment. It is so weird cause I was so nervous about it right before, but it is kinda freeing in a crazy way. I'm proud to join those other women in the fight to get our lives back from this terrible beast called cancer. Cancer doesn't control me. Only God has control of my life and that is so comforting right now. I'm just glad to get over another hump in this battle and to have it behind me now. Yes, I got a wig too that looks a lot like my hair, but I'm not sure what I will be comfortable with just yet. We'll see. Well, the good news is that I had my 2nd chemo this past Wednesday (11-30-11) at Northwest, and it went much smoother. My sweet aunt and uncle from Lubbock came up to entertain me cause Chris had to work this time. My aunt, Phila, is a brave ovarian cancer survivor and finished her chemo at MD Anderson in Houston in February. She knows firsthand what I'm going through and has been great support for me. I'm so glad they came to be with me. It made the time go by faster. I had my regular concoction of anti-nausea meds for the first hour or so. Then, came the 10 minute Adriamyacin ("Red Devil") and then Cytoxan for the last hour. Right after the chemo ended, we attached my Zofran (anti-nausea) pump to my port. I change out the infusion pump every day to get a continuous supply of the med like when I was in the hospital. It has made a great difference for sure. I can't say I haven't had some slight nausea issues or feelings of my stomach being on edge, but it is nothing compared to the road I went down the first time. This week I worked every day for almost 8 hours each day except today I took off the afternoon to take care of my hair situation. I'm pretty tired I can say from this week. I had a lot on my plate between the breast expanders, the chemo, taking care of my pump daily, working long hours, and shaving off my hair. I'm ready for a relaxing weekend and a slow week coming up.
I want to take this opportunity to thank the beautiful women that I have met along my path that have been supporting me through their past battles or current battles with cancer. Here they are - Karen, Jenny, Darcie, Mary Ann, Sherry, Phila, Louise, and Jackie. You women give me such strength and hope for a better tomorrow. Your strength you have shown and the advice you have given me help me with each hard step along my path. I am so proud of each of you and thank you for your courage and faith. God has definitely placed these ladies and many more in my path for a reason, and I can't thank him enough for that. You don't know what a blessing that is. God really put things in perspective for me when I was in the hospital cause before that I was so focused on things like the hair loss. Then, I went down that horrible path of feeling terrible with the nausea and stuff, so now the hair loss seems much easier to swallow having gone through that time. God has a funny way of showing you things in a different light to help you get through them. I have tried every day to find many times a day to tell God what I'm thankful for even if it is little things or in times when I'm having a hard time finding something positive to think about. I do it in my car, walking into work. at work, wherever. You can never thank him enough for the blessings that he gives us daily. He loves a thankful heart and for our focus to be on him. I find that if I focus on him more, I think less of my problems and worries. It so peaceful and rewarding. I encourage each of you to seek God on a completely different level than you ever have before and quit making excuses like I did before on why you haven't included him in every aspect of your life daily. He wants to know each of us more because he never stops loving us or caring about us. He is so good all the time. Cancer has saved me in more than one way. Thanks again for all the support everyone and I hope you enjoy my new look. God bless.